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Andrew Scott (IG: andrewjacobscott1)

Published in
The Haven

Trump Blames The Fall Of The Roman Empire On DEI

According to sources inside the current White House, President Donald Trump is working on a forthcoming address to the nation where he lays…

Feb 1

Trump Blames The Fall Of The Roman Empire On DEI

Feb 1

Published in
The Haven

“A Complete Unknown” Star Officially Changes Name To Zimmithée Chalamet

Following a heralded recent SNL performance that saw actor and “A Complete Unknown” star Timothée Chalamet authentically perform the work…

Jan 31

“A Complete Unknown” Star Officially Changes Name To Zimmithée Chalamet

Jan 31

Published in
The Haven

Nearly Three Weeks In, Patrick Still Unable To Comfortably Pronounce Prorogue

Although Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau prorogued parliament nearly three weeks ago, Toronto man Patrick Grace, 32, is still having…

Jan 27

Nearly Three Weeks In, Patrick Still Unable To Comfortably Pronounce Prorogue

Jan 27

Published in
The Haven

Toronto Hipster Suddenly Claims To Have Always Enjoyed Cherry Blossoms

As soon as Hershey Canada announced Monday that they were discontinuing production of “Cherry Blossoms,” the maraschino cherry-based milk…

Jan 23

Toronto Hipster Suddenly Claims To Have Always Enjoyed Cherry Blossoms

Jan 23

Published in
The Haven

Having Tripled His Pot Intake, Boston Man Admits “Dry January” Not That Bad After All…

Deciding to follow the advice of his wife, various health experts, and social media influencers, Boston man Brad Cooley, 34, has embraced…

Jan 7

Having Tripled His Pot Intake, Boston Man Admits “Dry January” Not That Bad After All…

Jan 7

Published in
The Haven

The Thirst Trap Dilemma

Following a particularly gruelling gym workout last Saturday, Tanner Tedesco, fitness influencer, bro scientist, and self-proclaimed expert…

Aug 14, 2024

The Thirst Trap Dilemma

Aug 14, 2024

Published in
The Haven

Local Man Successfully Feigns Interest In Gardening This Memorial Day Weekend

Reflecting upon a Memorial Day long weekend that included visits to three garden centres, four nurseries, and at least one florist supply…

May 28, 2024

Local Man Successfully Feigns Interest In Gardening This Memorial Day Weekend

May 28, 2024

Published in
The Haven

After One Week Of Wearing Athleisure, Woman Stuck In Permanent Exercise Vs.

After only one week of dressing in nothing other than athleisure wear from Lululemon and Aldo Yoga, Chicago mom Tracey Stephens, 38, has…

May 24, 2024

After One Week Of Wearing Athleisure, Woman Stuck In Permanent Exercise Vs.

May 24, 2024

Published in
The Haven

“This One’s For Queenie,” Yell Victorian-Era Enthusiasts Basil And Noddy, As They Detonate…

Looking forward to cracking skulls and having good lollygag at Toronto’s Ashbridges Bay, Victorian-era enthusiasts Basil Burton and Noddy…

May 21, 2024

“This One’s For Queenie,” Yell Victorian-Era Enthusiasts Basil And Noddy, As They Detonate…

May 21, 2024

Published in
The Haven

Hoping To Connect With Younger Voters, Biden Promises To Do Upcoming Debate In Fluent Emoji

With recent polls indicating that Joe Biden is trailing Donald Trump in popularity among the 18- to 24-year-old voting set, the incumbent…

May 17, 2024

Hoping To Connect With Younger Voters, Biden Promises To Do Upcoming Debate In Fluent Emoji

May 17, 2024

Andrew Scott (IG: andrewjacobscott1)

Andrew Scott (IG: andrewjacobscott1)

Andrew Scott is a musician and writer who lives in Toronto in a house amongst children, antiquated technology of yesteryear and many, many instruments.

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